Anchor fixation in retirement

Transcript

Here's a little something to watch out for. It's something I'm calling anchor fixation. You know how when you go on vacation, you usually have like a few anchor activities every day? So you say like, so I think on Tuesday we're going to go to the marina, and then that night I think we're going to go to that seafood place that everybody talks about for dinner. And in your mind you're like, those are my two anchors for the day. We're going to go to the marina, then we're going to monkey about the hotel, and then off to the seafood place at dinner. So you have these anchors in your mind throughout the vacation. Why do we have these anchors at vacation? Because when we're not on vacation and we're not retired, we only have one anchor, and that's work. So you know our days are like when we're working. Our days are like, I know I've got to work all day, and then I'm going to go home. And we usually don't have like a lot of other anchors. But when you retire, you don't really have anything planned. So you start finding yourself looking for those anchors. So for me, it's coffee in the morning at my computer, then lunch, then a snack at four o'clock, then Amy comes home and we have dinner, then we go feed the animals and everything, and we watch a little TV, have another little snack, then we go to the marina, and that's it. So you start finding yourself looking for those anchors. And I have all of those sort of anchored out in my mind. And what happens is I start to fixate on those anchors, meaning I know Amy gets home like around 620. So if it's 640, I'm starting to sort of pace around, not like a dog waiting for their, you know, dog parents to come home. But like, I'm starting to get antsy because we've protracted the transition from one to the other. One anchor to the other. Now I'm fixing this. Don't get me wrong. That's why I'm talking about it. I'm working on it. But I've started fixating on those daily anchors. So what I'm working on first is I have to stop being grumpy and fussy when the transition period between anchors gets protracted. So for example, you know, we might finish dinner and Amy might say, are you ready to head out and feed the animals? And I'll say, yeah. And I'll get up, put my coat on, get my gloves, whatever. Now I'm pacing. While she does the three or four things that she was going to do before we left, she didn't say, jump up, put your coat on. We need to leave. She said, are you ready? So I get fixated on that next anchor. Then I start like going into pacing mode. Like, okay, now we're supposed to be going and doing this thing. Why aren't we doing it? That's kind of a bit of a dramatization. Probably not a bit of a dramatization. I actually, I do pace. I actually pace. So, um, so what I need to do is just kind of roll with it. Like we do when we're working at work, you know, we don't get hung up on every little step of every little thing and get anxious when there's a gap in between them. We actually like it when there's a gap in between them. And in most things in our life, when there's a little more time between one thing and the other, we like it when there's a gap in between them. And when there's a gap in between them, we like that. But when you're fixating on the anchors, you get frustrated because you're like, okay, I finished this one anchor activity. Now we need to go get to doing that other one. And, uh, it's just an interesting phenomenon. It's not like I'm like nasty or grumpy. I'm just a little fussy and a little anxious. And, um, I'm going to figure out like how to deprogram that, but, uh, something to watch out for. I'm calling it anchor fixation. I'm going to figure out like how to deprogram that, but, uh, something to watch out for. I'm calling it anchor fixation. I'm going to figure out like how to deprogram that, but, uh, something to watch out for. I'm calling it anchor fixation.